Ramadan, fire horses, and why mentorship falls short

⏱️ Reading time: 5 minutes

Welcome to my weekly newsletter where I share insights and advice from my experience as a woman of color leading with heart and strategy for the future of social impact.

In today's letter:

• What Ramadan teaches every leader about pace
• The Year of the Fire Horse: act boldly, rest often
• Four things Vandita Morarka said that are worth sitting with

🌙 1. What Ramadan teaches every leader about pace

Billions of Muslims around the world are beginning the holiest month of the Islamic year. Whether today or tomorrow — it depends on the moon and your community's tradition — Ramadan has arrived.

No food, no water, no smoking from sunrise to sunset. Prayer. Reflection. Charity. Long nights with family. A full reset.

A personal note: I have fasted every Ramadan of my life. This year, I'm not. I'm starting my fertility journey, and my body needs something different right now. It's a tender thing to sit this one out — but also one of the most honest things I've done in a while. Choosing what my body actually needs over what I've always done.

That, too, is Ramadan's lesson. Know what you need. Honor the season you're actually in.

For leaders working with Muslim communities this month: Don't schedule major deadlines or launches during Ramadan — especially in the last 10 days. If a colleague seems quieter or keeping different hours, ask with care. This applies across Africa, the Middle East, South and Southeast Asia, and many communities right here in the US.

And if you're the Muslim colleague who's been over-explaining yourself for years, fasting through back-to-back meetings, accommodating everyone else's timelines: you don't owe anyone a performance this month.

The most grounded leaders I know aren't the ones who never stop. They're the ones who know when to stop — and trust that the pause is part of the plan.
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I shared more thoughts on this on LinkedIn this week if you want to share with others.

🐎🔥 2. The Year of the Fire Horse: act boldly, rest often

This week also marked the Lunar New Year. Tuesday, February 17th was the first day of the Year of the Fire Horse.

Last year — the Year of the Wood Snake — was a year of shedding. Painful, slow, necessary. We watched our sector, and the world, try to shed old skins: old power structures, old funding models, old ways of leading.

The fire horse brings different energy. Speed, action, decisiveness. Courage. Bold visions and quick movement. But horses, importantly, are also social animals. They thrive in community. They can run fast and far — and they still need to rest.

This year, we don't just ride. We ride together. Vu Le of Non Profit AF wrote a great piece on this.

💬 3. Four things Vandita Morarka said that are worth sitting with

Last week, Flourish hosted its very first guest speaker AMA with Vandita Morarka — founder and CEO of One Future Collective, a feminist organization building power with young people for gender justice in India, and the person behind the TEDx talk Self-Care Is Not the Answer.

Vandita talked about her failures. Not the reframed, wisdom-in-retrospect kind — the real kind. And a few ideas she shared deserve to be passed along.

Burnout becomes dangerous when it turns into resentment. There's a day, Vandita said, when you're not just tired. You're resenting the work itself — not your organization, not the sector, but the work. She traced it to a specific pattern: when she had spent years treating change-makers — herself included — as instruments. Vehicles for a better world. Somewhere along the way, the people disappeared and only the mission remained. And when that happens, burnout doesn't stay burnout for long. It curdles into something more corrosive.

Movements need choir structures, not solo performances. Her image for sustainable change-making was a choir. In a choir, you can stop singing for a moment to catch your breath — because someone else carries the tune. The movement doesn't collapse when you pause. What breaks movements isn't people stepping back. It's building structures where no one can step back, where the whole thing depends on one person's relentless, unsustainable presence.

You're probably being mentored when you need to be sponsored. Women and queer folks, Vandita said, are overly mentored and deeply undersponsored. Mentorship gives you advice. Sponsorship means someone takes your name into rooms you're not in. Someone makes the call, shares the post, introduces you to the funder. Those are not the same thing — and confusing them wastes a lot of time and energy that could go toward actual advancement.

Three signals that tell you when something's off. She pays attention to three: what her body feels like (tension, low energy), whether she still feels joy when she wakes up for work, and whether she's had real facetime with her community lately. When all three are off, something is wrong — not just with the work, but with how she's orienting to it.

She closed with a quote from the Jewish Talmud, attributed to Rabbi Tarfonshe that keeps close:

Do justly now. Love mercy now. Walk humbly now. You are not obligated to complete the work. But neither are you free to abandon it.

💭 A reflection to carry into the week

Two special seasons are overlapping this week. One calls us to fast, reflect, slow. The other calls us to ride with courage and fire.

They're both saying the same thing: know what season you're in. Build for rest and movement.
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And remember — you are not a vehicle. You are a person. Your wholeness is not a distraction from the work. It is the work.

Where have you been treating yourself — or someone on your team — as an instrument rather than a person?

Maya 🧡

P.S. Next Tuesday, inside Flourish, we're going deep on Power, Values, and Leadership — one of our core frameworks. It's one of my favorite workshops to facilitate. If you've been on the fence about joining, this is a beautiful one to start with. Join Flourish by Monday, February 23 to participate.​
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